I was still a mother, but not under any
circumstance I recognized. I was no longer a wife.
Instead of being someone who fit into my community, I
became a woman who stuck out. I felt I was standing
naked, exposed to some harsh environment, and I hadn't
even noticed the layers of my clothing (or roles)
being stripped away.
'Sheila Ellison from The Courage
to Be a Single Mother
In this refreshingly real and honest book, Sheila
Ellison conveys the story of her divorce, and those of
dozens of other single mothers, to comfort and empower
divorced moms. The raw emotional responses to divorce
are shared by everyone who goes through this traumatic
experience: grief, guilt, desperation, humiliation,
rage, and loneliness. "Divorce strips away the facade of
a happy family," Ellison says, "and lets the world in on
a painful personal secret.... Yet there is amazing
freedom in revealing and finally living the truth, in
having everyone see the imperfection, in surviving this
huge life change and still coming out with
yourself."
Ellison says, it is from the inevitable despair,
doubt, and fear surrounding divorce that women gain
clarity and perspective to summon the courage to move
from the darkest place in their lives toward the light.
It also takes tremendous vision-"an ability to imagine
the light even when you can't see it." Ellison
encourages divorced women to be open to new
possibilities as they discover how they really want to
live their lives.
Ellison also discusses the complexities of divorce,
from the practical to the emotional and spiritual:
telling one's children, family, and friends; finding an
attorney; dealing with visitation and restraining
orders; coming up with a new and livable definition of
"family"; nurturing angry, sad, and confused kids;
enlisting support from friends and loved ones; quieting
one's inner questioning and guilt; finding faith; and
more.
Wearing a new ring that symbolizes her ultimately
liberating journey-her wedding ring melted down and
redesigned, "just like my life"-Ellison is living proof
that single moms can move beyond pain and mere survival
to heal their souls, free their spirits, and build
happier lives for themselves and their
children.
Imprint:
HarperSanFrancisco; ISBN: 0062516515; Format:
Hardcover; Released On: 5/12/00; Trimsize:
5-1/2 X 8-1/4; Pages: 272; $23; $34.95(CAN)
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